(Spoiler warning: This post contains minor spoilers for Orson Scott Card's Ender's Game.)
In my second to last post on Ender’s Game, I described how Ender Wiggins, the novel's eponymous hero, is the paragon of intelligence--specifically, I described his ability to see beyond accepted paradigms. But it is his second intelligence trait that makes him a superior leader, his empathy. His greatest gift, it is also his curse.

From the beginning to the end, Ender tries to understand those around him. People are puzzles to him, like the math equations he does in his head. Ender asks himself what motivates Bonzo Madrid to lead so poorly, he questions Colonel Graff on why he leads the way he does, and he wonders why his brother Peter hates him. He knows the most important thing he can understand is people.
Or should I say Ender tries to understand intelligent beings, including Earth's alien enemies, the buggers. When he plays “Buggers and Astronauts” with his brother Peter before leaving for Battle School, Ender imagines himself as a Bugger. He tries to feel what they feel, asking himself what they think, morally reversing himself into their position. At school, he watches every video he can about the Buggers. The first time an adult honestly answers his questions, Ender asks about the Buggers.
This empathy is tragically problematic. “In the moment when I truly understand my enemy, understand him well enough to defeat him, then in that very moment I also love him. I think it’s impossible to really understand somebody, what they want, what they believe, and not love them the way they love themselves,” Ender says.
For Ender, this moment always precedes the destruction of the enemy, because by understanding the enemy, you know how to defeat them.
Think about the military and COIN warfare. How much about the Middle East, Sunni and Shiite sects of Islam, the history of Iraq and Afghanistan, did we not know prior to the invasions? How wide is the gulf that separates our cultures? To win counter-insurgency warfare, you have to understand your enemy. When you do understand your enemy, killing innocents and torture becomes unacceptable, because in some way you love them. You don't have to condone the actions of insurgents, but you must understand them.
This gulf of misunderstanding applies to the Islamic world as well. Have they tried to understand us? Have they looked at the world through our eyes? Polling shows that Arabs who have been to America, or met Americans, have a much more likely chance of giving us a high approval rating.
This is a beautiful problem, the problem of empathy, because the solution to it is peace. When we must understand the enemy to defeat him this understanding inevitably creates peace. At the end of Ender’s game, when Ender can finally communicate with the Hive Queen, they come to a peace; they finally understand each other.
I have to disagree with Ender on one point. Killing your enemy is tactically easier when you understand him, but emotionally harder. Unfortunately, the reverse is also true. When your enemy is horribly stereotyped and viewed as inhuman, emotionally it is much easier to kill him.
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I believe that people in the Middle East (especially in the more metropolitan parts) understand us much better than we understand them, especially with the export of American culture that seems to be the trademark of globalization. Even many rural shacks made of mud in Iraq will have satellite dishes on them to get news, entertainment, and information. American films, music, cuisine, literature, and even some American press is known of and distributed throughout the middle east as it is throughout the rest of the world. I wish I still had a picture I took of a McDonalds in Doha, complete with the menu in Arabic.
Now as an outsider looking in, I think its fair to say most people in the US not only don´t understand whats going on in the Middle East, but what is going on in the rest of the world as well (and may have just passing knowledge of whats going on in other parts of their own nation). In other nations that don´t think the entire world revolves around them they often speak more than one language, its embarrassed me as an American only being able to speak two languages (only English at first) when I´ve met tons of people here who speak 4 or 5.
I wonder how many Americans can point to Afghanistan on a map today? Many more today than 10 years ago certainly, but still probably a minority. Most people don´t have the time or concern to be as well informed as say you or I. For the average American to be able to understand the wide varieties of cultures, languages, tribes, history, and ethnic groups in the middle east is a hard task.
As far as the US military is concerned though, they have started to use anthropologists (much to the chagrin of other anthropologists who feel this is an abuse of their expertise) to perform “culture mapping” to help understand what is going on in certain areas of operation.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/10/05/world/..
Of course they can never have enough interpreters, but with a “culture map” they have a little bit better idea of the local culture, and whether its more advantageous to apply leverage, to help, or to cut deals. Its some of the best kind of intelligence the military can get, although I don´t know if the understanding of the culture is sinking in deep enough for most military personnel to develop trustworthy relationships with the local population or not.